How the Worst Feedback I've Ever Received Made Me a Better Leader

"The President is unsuited to lead" - the first piece of leadership feedback I've ever received.

I read this line sitting in the dimly lit private room of a rundown wine bar near university, surrounded by a few carafes of cheap Zweigelt and my fellow boardies from the student organization that elected me as their new President 6 months before.

We were going through the members' feedback on our work so far, halfway through our mandate, and some of it was frankly... quite harsh.

Was this line easy for me to read about myself? Definitely not.

Was it immediately helpful and actionable as feedback? Not really.

So did I step down from my position, accepting defeat? No, I did not.

Did I make it my mission to relentlessly seek out feedback that can help me improve? Absolutely.

Looking back, I am now deeply grateful for this piece of feedback. Not because it was nice and pleasant to read (it was not!), but because it taught me to always question my performance and seek to learn and improve.

It taught me that my room to grow is infinite.

A bumpy start to a long and deeply rewarding leadership journey, as a newly elected President

Yogic philosophy has a word for this. Not for the feedback itself, but for the practice of being willing to receive it — of turning our honest attention inward without flinching. It is called svadhyaya.

Become the Witness

Svadhyaya is often translated as 'self-study', which makes it sound simple. It is not. It goes beyond performance appraisals and journaling – although these practices definitely help, big time!

Practicing svadhyaya requires us to take a step back from our ego, our thoughts and emotions, and learn to become an honest, non-judgemental witness of ourselves.

A side note on being judgemental: nowadays we tend to blanket-disapprove of being judgemental. Let's remember though that as managers, our quick judgement is a crucial ability to analyse a situation, make a decision and devise an action plan to deal with it. Our judgement makes us efficient.

However, when it comes to self-reflection, judgement can push us into rumination and make us dwell on our failures, or into rationalisation where we come up with excuses to explain away the imperfections we find in ourselves.

Svadhyaya invites us to witness ourselves, without flinching and without judging.

Find Leadership Blind Spots

Taking the stance of a witness is the crucial first step to practice self-reflection in the spirit of svadhyaya.

The next step is to find areas where our perception of our self is limited.

These are our blind spots. And this is where external feedback is priceless.

The best feedback is considered to be clear, actionable and constructive.

And even when it's not, like the feedback I received as a student leader, it can help reveal something we have not yet realised about ourselves. Sometimes the key is the feedback itself, sometimes it's the way it makes us feel about ourselves.

We can use this external mirror (other people's perceptions) to see what our internal mirror (our own self-image) can't yet show us.

The practice of svadhyaya is about narrowing the gap between our self-perception and how we are perceived by others around us.

Master the Courage

Svadhyaya is rarely comfortable.

The path to self-discovery often features painful and hard milestones to face.

It takes a particular kind of courage to observe ourselves with honesty and face the truths of the habits, patterns and shadows that seem to make up who we are.

But here is the thing. We are not defined by all these behaviours, emotions and thoughts that we envelope ourselves in and exhibit towards the outside world.

Practicing svadhyaya allows us to gradually identify and peel these layers off from our true identity.

Yogic philosophy calls this the divine self, which is part and parcel of the universal consciousness.

Alternatively, you can think of it as your core values, drivers and true human essence.

Sitting with difficult feedback and self-doubt, rather than dismissing it is an act of genuine courage.

Conversely, outward success often makes self-reflection even harder, as self-examination feels less pressing when the results of our actions are perceived as positive.

The self is like a set of Russian matryoshka nesting dolls, where the smallest, innermost one hides a real diamond, found only by those who master their courage and put in the work to remove the external layers in search of this treasure.

Conclusion

The feedback I received in that dimly lit wine bar all those years ago didn't make me a better leader overnight. But the decision to look at it honestly, to sit with the discomfort rather than dismiss it, set something in motion that is still unfolding.

This is where conscious leadership begins, with svadhyaya.

It begins with a single question turned inward, and an honest answer.

It begins with the willingness to see, without judgement, and without wanting to fix it immediately.

The good news? You are not alone on this journey to your innermost self. You can call on the guidance of a yoga guru, the support of a leadership coach, or maybe some friends to hold space for you and refill your glass with cheap Zweigelt.

Your room to grow is infinite, too.

❓ Think of a piece of feedback you received that you initially resisted. What does it say about the leader you are now, and the leader you are becoming?

If this resonated, I explore themes like these every month in The Yogic Leader newsletter — practical yogic wisdom for leaders who are ready to look inward as well as forward. Sign up below, and I'd love to have you there.

Thank you for reading and have a wonderful week ahead.

The light in me honours the light in you.

Namaste