What We Possess, Possesses Us: The Art of Non-Attachment in Leadership

Halloween is just around the corner, along with All Saints' Day and All Souls' Day or Día de los Muertos. In many parts of the world, this is a time to remember our deceased loved ones, for example by bringing flowers and lighting candles at their graves.

Saying goodbye to someone you care about is hard. Insanely hard. But mortality means that we all eventually flicker out of existence, so accepting the passing of people we love is a fundamental part of the human experience.

And it is not just people.

All good things must come to an end. The only constant in life is change. Etcetera, etcetera...

The art of letting go and not clinging on to people, objects, situations and experiences is what yogic philosophy calls aparigraha, often translated as non-attachment, non-possessiveness or non-greed. It is one of the five yamas or ethical guidelines, alongside non-violence (ahimsa), truthfulness (satya), non-stealing (asteya) and the right use of energy (brahmacharya).

Attachment to Material Goods

A troubling side effect of modern society is the abundance of consumer goods at our fingertips. But do we truly need all that stuff? Some items certainly make life easier for us, yet many simply clutter our homes and minds, gathering dust and weighing us down emotionally.

Objects, and especially the pursuit of more of them, rarely make us happier.  However, being grateful for what we already have can begin to release the grip of attachment.

Many years ago, I met a young man called Gergő Balázs Gecse or "Bo" as we knew him. He had chosen to live a traveller’s life. He crafted his own wagon to live in, surrounded himself with animals, and travelled through Hungary and beyond.

When we asked why he had no locks on his wagon, he smiled and said:

"Why would I need a lock? I don't possess anything that would be of value to anyone else".

Bo spoke with such lightness and freedom that his words stayed with me ever since.

Meeting Bo and learning about non-attachment from the man who truly lived and breathed it.

Rolling With Change

Heraclitus’s famous saying, “The only constant in life is change,” beautifully captures the spirit of aparigraha. Truly living in the moment and fully savouring life means not clinging to the joyful times or pushing away the painful ones, but rather accepting that all experiences ebb and flow.

Would a deciduous tree decide that summer is better, and hold on to its leaves throughout autumn and winter, weighing down its branches and draining its energy reserves? Of course not!

So too must we, as humans and as leaders, learn to release what no longer serves us and adapt to our ever-changing environment.

It's About the Effort, Not the Outcome

Attachment to outcomes can easily distort our sense of purpose. When we focus too heavily on results, whether they are success or failure, we risk letting them define the value of our work, our worth, and even our identity.

This mindset blinds us to the joy of the process itself. Growth happens not only in the achievement, but in the becoming — in the lessons, resilience and creativity developed along the way.

When we attach our self-worth to external outcomes or the opinions of others, we allow their judgement to overshadow our inner experience. Feedback is invaluable, of course, but it should never devalue the journey that got us here and has shaped us along the way.

How to Practice Non-Attachment?

• 🧘‍♀️ On the mat: Let go of expectations about how your asana will look today, or how you "should" feel at the end of your practice. Let go of the idea of perfection and find joy in the practice itself.

• 💨 With the breath: Do this breathing exercise, paying attention to the value of letting go of the breath as you exhale and welcoming the fresh energy as you inhale. Or, I love using this concept while taking savasana at the end of my practice:

  • With every exhale, I visualise letting go of everything that no longer serves me, by imagining a muddy liquid leaving my body to be swallowed by the earth.

  • With every inhale, I visualise fresh new energy, filling my body with the golden light of clarity and renewal.

• 🪴 In your space: Declutter your living space and stop hoarding material goods. This will gradually shift your mindset towards higher levels of non-attachment, as well.

• 🍂 In your daily life: Practice finding joy and wonder in every season, embracing the different energies and moods. Allow yourself to flow with these rhythms rather than resist them. Alternatively, use any other cycle or natural change process to observe and get yourself immersed in.

• 📖 In reflection: Journal about beliefs, habits or patterns that no longer serve you. Name them, thank them, and gently begin to release them.

How will your leadership benefit from this practice?

• As leaders, we cannot ignore outcomes altogether — targets, KPIs and results still matter. But how we approach them makes all the difference. Practising non-attachment helps us value our team members not just for their output, but for their effort, creativity and growth along the way. Feeling valued and supported on their growth journey will eventually lead to better outcomes.

• It also helps us navigate the inevitable cycles of business. Every organisation passes through distinct stages: start-up, growth, maturity and decline. Each phase demands different leadership qualities. Practising aparigraha means recognising when to adapt, evolve, and let go of what once worked but no longer does. The skills that got you here may not be the ones that will take you forward. And that’s okay.

Thank you for reading, and have a wonderful week ahead.

The light in me honours the light in you.

Namaste