How to Stop Stealing From Others, the Earth and Yourself?

Do Not Steal. Regardless of where you are from or which faith you follow, you will probably consider this as cornerstone of any ethical society.

So you steer clear of shoplifting, bank robbery, embezzlement and tax evasion. Easy-peasy, right?

When I heard about non-stealing (asteya) being one of the yogic principles, I was puzzled.

What is it about?

Surely, there is more to it than not snatching yoga mats from the studio, or overcharging students for a class.

Through my research into yogic literature and the beautiful teachings of my instructors, my understanding of what it means to 'steal' has deepened. I’ve come to see how asteya can be practised not only on the mat, but in our everyday choices and interactions.

Stealing From Others

Time

In cultures with a linear concept of time, we treat it a resource, which we can spend, save, waste and run out of. So can you actually steal it?

In my native Hungarian, we speak of "time-robbing" activities and ask other not to steal our time.

We steal time when we arrive late to an appointment.

We steal time when we make others sit through meetings that "could have been an email".

We steal time when we run over in a yoga class, keeping the next group waiting outside.

Attention

Have you ever had someone telling you about an amazing holiday, and your first instinct was to tell them about your own travel story? Or someone confided in you about a recent loss, and you responded by recounting your own moments of grief from the past?

Sometimes this spirals into a competition, or "one-upmanship", trying to outdo each other in who had the most awesome holiday destination, or who is the most miserable.

Even if do this with the best intention, with the goal of relating to the other person by sharing a similar experience of our own, in reality we are stealing attention from them, shift the spotlight away from them and divert the conversation to ourselves.

I definitely fall into this pattern often enough. (<- See? Here's the proof. It's always me, me, me!)

What if instead we stayed with the other person's experience and simply be there for them offering our full, focused attention?

We might learn something new about them.

We might hold space for them to reflect on their experience.

We might create an even deeper connection than the superficial sharing of experiences.

Envy

"I wish I was as good with languages as you are"

It's something I have heard often. Usually coming from people who don't see how much time, effort and energy I have poured into studying English and other languages as a child while they may have been playing with friends. Or they probably dedicated their time to pursuing other passions, which they mastered to a high level that others might be envious of.

And this was their choice and priority, just like languages were mine.

Similarly to stealing attention, envy shifts focus from the other person and their prowess to our own perceived inadequacy.

Instead of envying, what if we celebrated their success? What if we allowed ourselves to be inspired by their dedication and learn from them?

Stealing From the Earth and the Future

The human race which we belong to has created a way of life on Earth that is unsustainable and often disregards the needs of future generations.

Can we begin to make more lifestyle choices that move away from just taking, taking, taking and shift towards giving back, creating more value than we take?

This topic goes beyond the scope of this post, but for those who are curious to learn and motivated to act, longtermism could be an inspiring and insightful starting point.

In his profoundly thought-provoking book, What We Owe The Future, philosopher William MacAskill makes a compelling case for longtermism, the idea that positively influencing the distant future is a moral priority of our time.

Stealing From Yourself

If stealing from others is unlawful, and stealing from the Earth is unethical, how would you describe stealing from yourself?

Self-Sabotage

Every time we criticise ourselves, set unrealistic expectations and undermine our self-esteem will inevitably steal from the full expression of our uniqueness, vitality and potential.

No Time to Rest and Reflect

In a world powered by accomplishments, we often juggle far too many roles and responsibilities. The constant rush from one task to the next steals our opportunity to be fully present and engaged with any of them.

Not allowing ourselves time to rest and reflect may be an even bigger theft, as we are robbed of the chance to truly integrate our life experiences and let them shape who we are and how we grow.

Stuck in a Dream

Dreaming big is beautiful. Hoping that the stars will align and the universe will deliver is inspiring. But if we are not prepared to receive what we desire, we risk squandering the very opportunities we long for, like the lottery winner who goes broke just months later.

By consistently building our skills, we will be able to take advantage of the opportunities presented to us. Otherwise, we may be stealing from our own future by wasting our chance to fulfil our desires and grow into our fullest self.

"Preparing ourselves to hold what we want is an exciting, full-time job."

The Yamas & Niyamas: Exploring Yoga's Ethical Practice by Deborah Adele

The Sanskrit word Asteya written in Devanagari script

How to Practice Asteya

• Be fully present for others when they share their experiences rather than diverting the attention to a similar experience that you had.

• Respect others' time by arriving punctually to classes or appointments, being efficient in communication and honouring the agreed timeframes.

• Stop envying the person on the mat next to yours. Are they thinner, stronger or more flexible than you? Great, be happy for them. You never know their story behind the façade.

• Make ethical business decisions, considering not just the profit but the broader negative externalities .

• Cultivate gratitude for the abundance you already have and shift the focus from wanting even more for yourself.

• Continuously invest in your personal growth, to be ready for when the life-changing opportunity presents itself.

• Create space between different activities to allow time for yourself to completely finish one and fully arrive into the other. This allows you to stay present and engaged.

Benefits of this Practice

The jewel of Asteya teaches us to live with greater integrity, presence and generosity. When we stop taking time, attention, energy and resources, our lives start getting richer. We become more mindful of our impact on others, the planet, and even our future selves.

By practising non-stealing:

• We deepen our relationships through genuine presence and empathy.

• We foster a sense of abundance, reducing the grip of envy and comparison.

• We honour our time and energy, creating space for rest, reflection and growth.

• We contribute to a more ethical and sustainable world, one conscious choice at a time.

Asteya is not about deprivation, but about liberation. It frees us from the compulsion to grasp, hoard or compare. It opens the door to a life of trust, generosity and connection.

Thank you for reading, and have a wonderful week ahead.

The light in me honours the light in you.

Namaste