Self-Discipline Isn't About Pushing Harder
- 3 days ago
- 4 min read
"This girl is unbelievable," I once overheard my mom telling her friends. - "Once she gets something into her head, she doesn't rest until she achieves it."
I must have been around 13 at the time, having just been admitted to the secondary school of my choice. It was heavily oversubscribed, and I had spent many evenings and weekends preparing for the entrance exam.
Back then, I had no idea that what I was practicing was the yogic principle of tapas.
The Yogic Approach to Self-Discipline
The yogic principle of tapas literally means 'heat', referring to the inner fire of self-discipline, with the power to transform us into something of a higher quality. It is the third of the five niyamas, the personal observances that guide our relationship with ourselves.
Tapas is about cultivating discipline, passion and courage to burn away ‘impurities’ physically, mentally and emotionally, so that our true potential can emerge.
Traditionally, this might involve practices such as meditation, asceticism, or penance.
While retreating into hermit-like austerity may not be the path for modern leaders, the essence of tapas remains deeply relevant.
Growth from Crisis
"Sub pondere crescit palma" is a Latin phrase, meaning "Under weight, the palm tree grows". The phrase reflects an old belief that palm branches grow stronger when weighed down, often used to illustrate that a strong character is forged through challenges.
The common English proverb would be "A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor".
The message is universal.
Through tapas, we learn to stay with discomfort rather than run, hide or quit. This is where the greatest learning and growth reside.
Never let a good crisis go to waste. - Winston Churchill
Tapas goes beyond simply enduring difficulty. It invites us to consciously step towards it.
It means initiating the difficult conversation before tensions escalate. It means asking the uncomfortable question that no one else dares to voice. It means choosing growth proactively, rather than waiting for circumstances to force our hand.
Consistency in Habits
Tapas is not only about big, courageous moments. It is a consistent daily practice, and the tiny choices we make each day accumulate as transformative outcomes over time.
This idea echoes the Sorites Paradox: if you give someone a small number of coins, they are not rich. Add one coin, and nothing changes. Add another, and another... At what exact point do they become wealthy?
The bestselling book Atomic Habits by James Clear is built on the same principle: lasting change comes from small, consistent improvements. Whether it's about gradually breaking self-sabotaging thought and behaviour patterns, or building new, helpful ones, perseverance over perfection is key.
Magnificent breakthroughs and the big leap are a myth.
It is the small step, repeated daily, that creates real transformation.
Self-Discipline versus Self-Kindness
Tapas is often misunderstood as clenching your jaws and pushing yourself harder towards burnout. In fact, it is about strengthening your willpower through a conscious effort and steady commitment.
There will be moments when we feel as though we have hit an insurmountable wall. Forcing ourselves through it prematurely, driven by ego, is neither discipline nor kindness.
Tapas teaches us something subtler: to show up consistently, to observe the wall, to understand our response to it, and to gently, steadily chip away at it.
In this way, tapas works hand in hand with ahimsa (non-violence).
It cultivates the discernment to know when to push and when to soften.
Practicing Tapas On the Mat
Create consistence in your practice. Tapas means showing up even when you don't feel like it.
Some poses will take you to the edge of your comfort zone. Staying in an intense stretch will require self-discipline to stay with it, rather than retreat from the discomfort.
Rather than avoiding challenging poses, commit to working towards them one day at a time.
Taking the Practice of Tapas Off the Mat
Be clear about distinguishing necessary rest from procrastination. Are you really practicing self-kindness, or looking for an excuse to put something off?
Take the same commitment to consistency you practice on the mat to everything you do, and create powerful habits and rituals that keep you on track.
Stay with difficult situations, and breath through them. Rather than dismissing it as simply being conflict-avoidant, start practicing small assertions, saying 'no' and not delaying inevitable conversations.
How Your Leadership Will Benefit
The ability to remain calm and composed in challenging situations, followed by thoughtful reflection and learning
A deeper sense of responsibility and accountability, coming from choosing what is right over what is easy
Greater focus and resilience, with reduced susceptibility to distraction
Over time, tapas becomes a kind of inner flywheel, burning away what no longer serves you and creating space for meaningful transformation.
For my 13-year-old self, tapas meant giving up evenings and weekends to earn a place at the school I dreamed of.
Since then, I have almost always had a goal to work towards, presenting me with countless opportunities to choose consistent effort over instant gratification.
Although my mum is no longer here with me, her words still echo in my mind. They continue to guide me, keeping that inner fire alive.
❓What new habit does your leadership need most right now?
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Thank you for reading and have a wonderful week ahead.
The light in me honours the light in you.
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